{"id":18217,"date":"2018-08-13T12:06:39","date_gmt":"2018-08-13T06:36:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/functionalnutritionlab.com\/blog\/?p=546"},"modified":"2025-08-28T15:01:55","modified_gmt":"2025-08-28T15:01:55","slug":"serve-dont-please","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fxnutrition.com\/blog\/serve-dont-please","title":{"rendered":"Serve (don\u2019t please)"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m regularly asked how to create happy clients<\/strong> when we\u2019re constantly asking them to do things they don\u2019t want to do, and in the end, we\u2019re not really<\/em> giving them what they want.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I mean\u2026<\/p>\n

People may come to you wanting you to fix their digestion so that they can finally eat pizza again without gas, bloating, or the fear of exacerbating some other sign or symptom.<\/p>\n

Or<\/em> they may be OK with eliminating sugar, except<\/em> for the 80% chocolate bar they devour each evening as a reward for checking a number of other \u2018good for me\u2019 boxes off their list that day.<\/p>\n

Or<\/em> maybe you have a client who agrees to everything you\u2019ve outlined in one session, and then shows up to your next appointment having done nothing<\/u> on her Action Form but wanting to spend your session recounting (in great detail) the many circumstances that made it impossible for her to follow your recommendations.<\/p>\n

How do you create happy clients (who continue to secure your services and refer their friends and family to you) when you\u2019re repeatedly the bearer of restriction and refinement\u2014possibly deemed as \u2018bad news\u2019?<\/p>\n

How can you be there<\/em> for your clients, and be their advocate<\/em>, when they\u2019re asking you for your buy-in on choices that you know don\u2019t serve them?<\/p>\n

This is a GREAT question!<\/p>\n

The Functional Reframe \u2013 Serve, Don\u2019t Please<\/h2>\n

When you have a client who wants something you can\u2019t give, like a \u2018fixed\u2019 digestive system that gives them license to eat what they want, or one who wants you to tell them it\u2019s OK that they\u2019re not following the guidelines you\u2019ve outlined to meet your joint goals, you have a choice\u2026<\/p>\n

You can please<\/em> your client and go along with her story.<\/p>\n

Or you can serve<\/em> your client and call her on her story.<\/p>\n

Pleasing looks like chasing the quick-fix, or taking it on as your<\/em> responsibility alone to come up with a new protocol that\u2019s more enticing and fun, agreeing with her excuses, or allowing her to engage in endless email conversations with you, the kind that are laden with stories and excuses.<\/p>\n

Pleasing looks like presenting clients with the shiny objects (who we are, what we know), being charming, answering all their questions (without reframing them), and getting them to like us.<\/p>\n

When you please your client, you make her happy, but only in the short-term.<\/strong><\/p>\n

She feels relieved in the moment. So do you. And you\u2019re on your way to making a friend.<\/em><\/p>\n

Distinct from this is serving<\/u> your clients. It\u2019s what you really want to do. And serving means you may need to have some difficult (and honest) conversations:
\n<\/u><\/p>\n